The "you're too hard on yourself" look.
The "I'm too lazy" voices in my head.
The "I'm too lazy" voices in my head.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
The places I've felt at my happiest
My nana's & papa's house
It's like my own little fairy tale get-a-way from life.
So cute and quaint.
I always feel like I'm in another world when I'm there. Looking out at my nana's garden, and beyond that the ocean from the sun room. Playing my nana's piano while I smell the heavenly aroma of freshly made cookies coming from the kitchen.
It's my own little fairy tale world.
I've contemplated many times on how it would be the perfect setting for a movie, or a novel.
Coldplay concert 2012
It was one of the most amazing and glorious concerts ever.
I felt so at ease, and calm, and tranquil.
I can still see the confetti raining down on me and my friends as we literally glowed in the dark when hearing charlie brown played, because we had painted our entire bodies with glow paint. (which was a bitch and a half to get off hahaha)
I can remember the smiles on my bestfriends faces, and I remember just thinking "wow, if I could live in any moment forever it would be now".
I was so, at peace.
Nicaragua 2013
I spent a lot of the trip wishing I could just go home, because I was home sick and I was actually sick.
But there was this one day that made the rest of my trip so ironic, because now I never wanted it to end but I knew it eventually would.
That day we had all worked our asses off shoveling out two giant dump trucks full of sand and gravel, and then we mixed some cement to end the work day. I remember having a shower at the end of that day and just thinking "I have never been happier in my entire life than right now".
I wasn't superficial happy or just on the surface happy; I was the sort of happy that originates in the core of yourself and it spreads to every last nerve, and consumes you in entirety. I was purely happy right down to my core, and I've never felt that happy ever before in my entire life, thus far. It was like I was an epiphony; my soul, my body, my mind.
There really is no words to describe the feeling.
In retrospect it doesn't even make sense haha.
I was so sore from that day, and completely exhausted and mentally drained, all the while standing in a death defying cold shower, scrubbing off my entire body which was covered in 10 layers of dirt, sweat, and sunscreen mixed together. In a tiny little bathroom that had holes in the walls and bugs all over the place, and a toilet that didn't even work properly so we had to throw our toilet paper in a garbage can.
Any sane person would've been crying in that shower begging to go home. Back to the comforts of modern day first world civilization. Where the most manual labor they have to do is pick-up a tv remote.
Yet for me, in that moment, that right there is when I was at my happiest I've ever been.
And oh, how I do miss it.
It's like my own little fairy tale get-a-way from life.
So cute and quaint.
I always feel like I'm in another world when I'm there. Looking out at my nana's garden, and beyond that the ocean from the sun room. Playing my nana's piano while I smell the heavenly aroma of freshly made cookies coming from the kitchen.
It's my own little fairy tale world.
I've contemplated many times on how it would be the perfect setting for a movie, or a novel.
Coldplay concert 2012
It was one of the most amazing and glorious concerts ever.
I felt so at ease, and calm, and tranquil.
I can still see the confetti raining down on me and my friends as we literally glowed in the dark when hearing charlie brown played, because we had painted our entire bodies with glow paint. (which was a bitch and a half to get off hahaha)
I can remember the smiles on my bestfriends faces, and I remember just thinking "wow, if I could live in any moment forever it would be now".
I was so, at peace.
Nicaragua 2013
I spent a lot of the trip wishing I could just go home, because I was home sick and I was actually sick.
But there was this one day that made the rest of my trip so ironic, because now I never wanted it to end but I knew it eventually would.
That day we had all worked our asses off shoveling out two giant dump trucks full of sand and gravel, and then we mixed some cement to end the work day. I remember having a shower at the end of that day and just thinking "I have never been happier in my entire life than right now".
I wasn't superficial happy or just on the surface happy; I was the sort of happy that originates in the core of yourself and it spreads to every last nerve, and consumes you in entirety. I was purely happy right down to my core, and I've never felt that happy ever before in my entire life, thus far. It was like I was an epiphony; my soul, my body, my mind.
There really is no words to describe the feeling.
In retrospect it doesn't even make sense haha.
I was so sore from that day, and completely exhausted and mentally drained, all the while standing in a death defying cold shower, scrubbing off my entire body which was covered in 10 layers of dirt, sweat, and sunscreen mixed together. In a tiny little bathroom that had holes in the walls and bugs all over the place, and a toilet that didn't even work properly so we had to throw our toilet paper in a garbage can.
Any sane person would've been crying in that shower begging to go home. Back to the comforts of modern day first world civilization. Where the most manual labor they have to do is pick-up a tv remote.
Yet for me, in that moment, that right there is when I was at my happiest I've ever been.
And oh, how I do miss it.
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