For all that it's worth, is it worth it?

I fell for a spinning out of control hurricane.
That literally swept me off my feet,
spun me around, and then threw me to the ground.
You were so sudden and swift
With no care and a love to jist.

You were sweet, kind, endearing, loving, handsome,
All the parts that a girl wishes for

But still I stumble.
Still I crumble,

To pieces of glass every time someone asks
"How are you two? Do you like him? How are you?"

We're rocky, I'm selfishly indecisive, and I'm broken.

I need to remember I do not love him, I do not even like him. It's true.
I WANT to love him, even like him would be pleasant.
But I don't, I just don't.

I yearn for a love that's more than just touch
I want one of sight, sound, smell, taste, then touch.
One of deep friendship and long love
Not one of just physical shove.

I want the love of my bestfriend.
I'm so sorry, but I can no longer pretend.

Because I do care about you,
Enough to no longer be selfish with you.
To let you go, and live a full life without me.
The only place you'll ever find true happiness.

I must let you go,

I must.

I must.

So why can I not utter those ending words to you?
Stuck on the tip of my tongue as your eyes meet mine and our bodies intertwine.
Why do I keep doing this?

Selfish.
Selfish witch I am.

I'm so sorry my love.
My darling love, I'm so sorry.

We're in a rut,
and my goodbye is stuck.