I didn't know what it was like to go to University.
I didn't know what it was like to truly understand the meaning of stress.
I didn't know what it was like to not have basketball or volleyball in my life.
I didn't know what it was like to not be busy with sports every single day, 24/7.
I didn't know what it was like to come 8th in provincials!!!
I didn't know what it was like to have long distance friendships.
I didn't know what it was like to fail multiple tests in the same course.
I didn't know what it was like to not get straight A's in school.
I didn't know what it was like to actually struggle in school.
I didn't know what it was like to play for a diff soccer coach other then ron.
I didn't know what it was like to graduate highschool.
I didn't know what it was like to go to prom.
I didn't know what it was like to make mistakes that still bother me to this day.
I didn't know what it was like to be souley responsible for my entire future.
I didn't know what it was like to miss so many different things so terribly all at once.
I didn't know what it was like to make & then present a valedictorian speech.
I didn't know what it was like to have to befriend new people on a daily basis.
I didn't know what it was like to experience a Coldplay & Jason Mraz concert.
I didn't know what it was like to watch my best friends move so far away from me.
I didn't know what it was like to go to the same school with my friends & never see them.
I didn't know what it was like to miss being busy 24/7.
(I'm weird. I seem to do my best when under extreme amounts of pressure and time crunches, even though it makes me extremely stressed out and results in me breaking down and crying a lot...im weird, I get it. Hence why I just texted my old bball coach and signed up to coach two welly teams (grade 8 boys vball and sr girls soccer, wooooot!) which both start in the next week or so! And I'm planning on handing out resumes once I get settled into that. Maybe now my grades will finally go back up haha, having a ton of free time doesn't seem to be doing anything positive for them, so I might as well try the complete opposite of what I'm doing now! I mean being overly busy worked for me in highschool! And honestly, I've got nothing to lose at this point my grades are so bad, so I might as well try this :p)
Don't get me wrong, I do love where I'm at right now. I love all the new experiences I'm getting to have, even though half the time I desperately want to go back to my past life. I just have to keep telling myself that going in a forward direction is a good thing.
It.is.good.for.me.
Even though a good 90% of the time I despise it with a passion. :p
I didn't know a lot of things back then. Which makes me wonder what I don't know right now?
It'll be interesting to find out what I don't know :)
But, what I do know is at this moment I miss highschool basketball so much and all my teammates and coaches. I miss playing house soccer with my old team and my old coach who was basically my second dad in the end after 12yrs. I miss how EASY highschool was. Oh how I wish I could go back to highschool and replay grade 12. It was such a glorious year. I wish I was going to provincials again. I wish I could re-do prom and the valedictorian speech.
But most of all, I wish I could just go back to sitting in the cove, or the photo-room, or upstairs C with my 5 bestfriends just one more time. When we would just sit and talk and laugh. We never once got in a fight between us 6, I'm not sure if I ever thanked you guys for that. It was always so peaceful and happy whenever we were together. Every thing was always just so knee-slapping, throw our heads back funny back then.
Out of every thing that I miss, I miss you guys the most.
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