Saturday, May 25, 2013

It wouldn't be a lie if I said I was missing you tonight

I've decided that I don't feel like making the lists anymore :p sorry blogger! (not like anyone was dying to hear them or actually reads this or cares at all anyways haha) Maybe another day when I'm in the mood again.

It's funny.
I finally figured out what I want to do with my life (I want to be a speech pathologist) and all of a sudden every mistake I made last year in university has caught up with me. They're prohibiting me
from following a path that I can't picture me not following. Yes, I will get there eventually but just not as immediately as I want to. I'm excited about going back to school in september because I finally have a goal that I want to follow. I haven't felt anything but impending doom whenever I have a thought about school since... well since back in like grade 10. I know what I want now, every time I close my eyes and take myself back to Nicaragua I gain back my sense of sanity and direction. I honestly thought I had lost it for a while there back during my first year of university. Luckily the memory of that little girl in that picture above helps me remember what being truly happy is like. I hope I will always remember how I felt like in Nicaragua. If I can manage to keep a hold of that feeling, I think I will be okay no matter what happens to me in life.

I can't wait to get a job and start working. I want to ride my bike to work everyday and work downtown at the lighthouse restaurant. That right there is my new dream summer job. (hopefully I get it!)

All I want right now is something new, I don't want to keep going back to the old. I miss the old like crazy but... I can't keep going back there or else not even my memory of Nicaragua will be able to keep me sane.

Time to move on.

I miss you, it would be a lie if I said I didn't. But unlike before Nicarauga, I'm not willing to go back to those times. I'm stronger now.


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