NICARAGUA FINALLY

Well, I guess it's almost about time to leave now.

I'm going to miss this little island and all the wonderful people <3
But it's only two weeks so I'm not going to get too weepy over here haha

I'm excited, but extremely nervous.
A part of me wants to just be on the plane already and another me wants a couple more hours of sitting at home with my mom, dad, bro and my puppies.

My mom sees past me waaaay more then I think she does haha. She told me tonight that she figured out one of the reasons why I'm doing this adventure, which is because I'm looking for something. Something that will help me decide about what I'm going to do with my life. Well she's right, I am looking for something.

I am searching for what I want to do with my life, I'm hoping some sort of realization about life or about anything that will help with my future will hit me on this adventure. Whether it does or doesn't, I have a strong feeling this will change me in some sort of way. Not sure how yet, but it will.

I didn't end up learning any songs on my guitar before I leave, not actually too upset about it. I'll learn them when I get back :) My plan for the summer is to actually try and give it a go at having a youtube channel. We'll see how that works out...

Once again I'm getting off track about things that are too far in the future to think about :p nicaragua trip first then think about summer.

Well... I'm going to keep downloading songs onto my ipod. Itunes got wiped so I'm last minute downloading stuff haha

Bye blogger
See yah in two weeks with tons of pictures and stories to tell :)

<3

Before I leave

What I want to do before I leave for Nicaragua Wednesday

1) Learn a couple new songs on my guitar (this'll take up a LOOOT of time...I'm a slow learner haha)
2) Read some books
3) Download a ton of new music for my ipod
4) Watch some FRIENDS episodes
5) Lay in my  bed and just stare at the ceiling in complete peace

What I'm actually doing

1) Running around making sure I have everything I need before I leave
2) packing
3) and a little more packing
4) and some re-packing
5) Avoiding hanging out with people do to the fact that now that school is over I really just want to turn off the extrovert side of me and go completely introvert for a while. I'm a true introvert at heart. I love being alone in my own space of peace and quiet just reading as many books as my soul desires.
6) Having naps while avoiding people
7) aaaannddd more PACKING! (wooo...not)
8) Getting forced to go for a weekend trip to go see my family (it actually wasn't that bad... I just really hate going to the old folks home to visit my papa. It brings back all my worst nightmares and I... I just feel really uncomfortable going there)
9) Coaching a soccer practice
10) Going to an eye doctors eyepointment.. joy
11) and back to packing.... it.never.ENDS.

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing/hanging out with my really close friends and I would like to see them...but come on people. I'll only be gone for two weeks for goodness sakes! I can see all of you guys when I get back and at least when you see me then I'll have something more to talk about other then "yah I'm so stoked! But I'm also really nervous, but omg so stoked!". Why are people who I haven't even talked to for like a year asking to see me before I leave?! This is getting ridic. (I feel like such a greedy little spoiled bitc...I mean brat... saying that but really guys? really?!)

I just wanna be like my introvert child-like self for a couple days and not talk to any one and just read my books. 
Now really is that such a crime?
No! I don't think so!




.....So why do I feel so terrible for avoiding people asking me to hangout.....

first year of uni is done, thank god...

well, doom and gloom me is gone now that school is over for the summer finally haha
but ive still got the worst headache in the world and i still feel extremely nautious. guess ill have to just wait it out a couple days for my body to come out of stress mode hahah

on another note, ive reached over seventy likes on my selfie profile picture on facebook. i can now consider myself to be a proud lg. wooooooooot woot hahaha (ps my lack of capitals, emoticons, and exclamation points can mean only one thing,  im posting this off my phone baha)

time to go shooooppinggg for nicaraguaaa, yaaaaaay that means i get to go buy those comfy shoes and cargo pants, life is wonderful. now if only this splitting headache would go away, then everything would be completely peachy

I'm currently fighting every fibre in my being to shut down and give-up on english.
Ugh, I feel like I'm going to throw up I feel so sick.
Stress has done one too many tolls on my body this past year. I'm probably going to just come home and pass out once my exam is done tomorrow. And I'll probably lay in my bed in the dark for the rest of the day.
I can't wait to be able to just shut-off.

ps. final decision for my courses next year: NO WAY IN HELL AM I TAKING ANY MORE SCIENCES. I never want to go through a year like this ever again. It's been my version of a living hell. Guess I'm just not made for the science life.

Take a deep breath, and just do it.

All those pretty lights

I love meteor showers.

According to NASA theres one tonight called the Lyrid meteor shower and its at it's peak right now. It happens every once-a-year.

I'm currently sitting on their website, http://news.cnet.com/8301-11386_3-57580856-76/nasa-to-webcast-lyrid-meteor-shower-monday-night/

Waiting to see a pretty little meteor shine across the sky.

Last summer was the first time I ever saw a shooting star. I was actually on my way home from hanging out with some random friends who I never really hung out with and I spotted it on the drive home.

I spent the rest of the night (I think I stayed up until like 3am...) laying on my deck with a pillow and a blanket just staring up at the stars.

It was a wonderful night, and I remember I did a lot of really good thinking. I have no idea what the heck I was thinking about, but I remember it was some of the best I've ever done.

I know I have a psych exam tomorrow morning, but I'm seriously considering going and laying on my deck for a couple hours after everyone else goes to bed tonight just so I can lay there and stare at the stars.

I don't know what it is about about space that's always intrigued me. I feel like at some point it catches everyones attention because it's just so big and wide and unknown. I feel so miniscule and insignifcant when I'm looking up at it; and all of a sudden, all of my probelms feel so irrelevant. 

I love that feeling.

Tie your scarf on tight, it's to be a cold night.

I want to learn how to play the cello. 

I know I'm still currently learning the guitar and the piano and I'm no where near perfect at either but... I just really want to learn how to play this gorgeous instrument. Too bad they're so expensive... When I get a job I'm going to start putting money away to buy this beautiful instrument :)

One day I'll know how to play you!

Well I would swim but the river is so wide, and I'm scared I won't make it to the other side.

Speech pathologist?

- It doesn't involve medical school. (Thank good god...)
- Yes it involves graduate school, but that's not really all that bad is it? Almost any good paying job involves graduate school now-a-days.
- It wouldn't involve too many sciences after I get out of the first year.
- I could take as many psychology courses as I wanted to.
- I would have to take languages again, but that would be okay right?
- It pays pretty well
- My job would basically involve playing/coming up with games with little kids to help them learn how to talk.
- Whichis basically what I do on a daily basis at my moms daycare anyways.
- I've always wanted to either a) work with athletes or b) with kids and this job would full-fill one of those.

Should I do it?




I think the thing I'm scared of the most about is choosing something and not loving it completely. Or realising after all my schooling is done, that I chose the wrong profession, just because I felt like I needed to settle on something practical.

Hate that word.

I guess I'm just scared of the future in general.
I've no idea what I'm doing with my life right now, let alone what I want to do with it later.




And maybe that's a good thing? I've still got a good (hopefully) 60-80 years left in me. I haven't even lived a fifth of my life yet for goodness sake! I'm still just a little baby so no wonder why I have no clue what I should be doing, or who I even really am. I learn something new about myself on a pretty regular basis.

I'm trying to take everything as a learning curve. I don't have everything figured out, and I probably never will. But I am learning, slowly but surely, I am learning.

Sigh.
I just wanna lay in bed all day and listen to music. But alas, my psych and english exams are approaching rapidly and I'm not ready for them at all... Passenger take me away.

so....many.....equations....that..... AREN'T ON THE FORMULA SHEET. BAH

I'm so happy I decided to get some sleep last night. Even if it was only like 3 and a half hours. It's better then nothing!

I don't care that this is my fourth post today.
(pardon my language but)
I'M SO READY TO RAGE QUIT ON THIS STUPID FUCKING CALCULUS FINAL AFLSDKFJSDLKFJLSDFJDSLKFJSLDKFJSDLKFJSDLKFJLDSKFJLSDKFJLSDK

but I can't.... :( and I'm about to go full out cry mode once again because I'm staring another all nighter straight in the face knowing that that is what my future is going to have to be in order for me to get an alright mark on this final thats worth 55% OF MY GRADE. Fml. Shoot me. I'm going to go bawl like a baby now.

Not to mention my attention span for the entirety of the day has been like 2mins at its longest.... WHY CAN'T I JUST FOCUS ENOUGH TO GET THIS DONE SO I CAN SLEEP!  AFLDKSJFLSDKJFLDFJLDFJLDFLDFLJLJ

Rage over.

Ben howard....is in concert.....tonight......in vancouver.......HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT HE WAS COMING HERE?!?!?!?!?!?! I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT TICKETS IN AN INSTANT! WEEEHHHHHHHH

I mean I probably wouldn't have been able to go since I do have an exam tomorrow....but I could've figured out a way around that :( waaaahhh sad days.

Guess I'll just have to sit at home... and listen to his gloriousness through my head phones... I love you :(

ps. I know this is my 3rd blog post today, I swear it's the last one :p

Magic Beyond Words

An unauthorized biography of Joanne Rowlings life.
I never knew this movie existed until today.
I'm so happy to have found this.
J.K. Rowling,  you are one of my biggest inspirations.
Loved this movie

Soon it will all be over

Can't I just fast foward to this time a week from now?
When all my finals are done and over with.
This is bound to be the worst week of my life.
Just one more week.
Just one more.
Soon it will all be over.
Soon it will all be over.

Little Victories

I'm going to choose for the next two weeks to celebrate the little victories while studying for exams.

For example,

 I just finished writing all of my math notes that cover the entire term...it took me basically all weekend but I did it :)

So now, it's time to give myself a break and go for a nice little run on this beautiful sunny day.

Before taking on doing the bio notes for the entire course. Such a daunting task haha, but i'll finish it eventually.


One baby step at a time :)

He's just not that into you.

I'm in love with this movie. (SPOILERS ALERT...kinda)

Thanks for making re-writing out math notes more enjoyable this weekend.

While also teaching me (Is it sad that I'm actually taking dating advice from a movie? My oh my what have I become haha) that I am not the exception for every guy I meet, I'm the rule. 

But one day, I will be the exception for someone.

And now I'm going to stop typing before I get even more sappy and cheesy then I've already become. Sigh.. I really need to stop watching these types of movies haha, they're turning me into a mush. How did I go from having a vendetta against romantic comedies for my entire teenage life until a couple months ago? All of a sudden my hatred towards them has ended and now it's become a bit of an obsession for me to watch them.
 This needs to stop.





...and yet I'm currently googling romantic comedies to find more of these types of movies... someone, anyone, help me hahaha





Fun fact: I've watched this movie four times in the span of two days... 3 times yesterday and once today.... safe to say I have no life.
 

find silver in your rusted heart :)

(just a heads up, my phone wont let me use capitals while on blogger..sooo dont judge me for not capitalizing my sentences :p)

i just need to take a minute here and express my complete and undying love for the biology tutor last night. he was soooo dreamy :3 i couldnt take my eyes off him. beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyed, tall, extremely good bone structure, attractive, fourth year, gorgeous man.
his analogys for everything were sooo adorable and he was just soooo cute
anyways yah...so basically im in love

on a down note.... four and a half hours that tutor session lasted for.... four.and.a.half.hours.
longest thing ever, so freaking tiring.

but also pretty fun :) i sat with liv, am, justine, and galen which was awesome because theyre all like my fav people ever. even though we were missing a couple of my favs.
we spent the breaks taking pics/videos on carmellas laptop since she wasnt there and justine had it. galen and i played catch with a tiny and somewhat shiny paper ball (which is actually a lot more fun and entertaining then it seems, especially since we were bored out of our minds from the tutor session haha)

overall, last night was fun, even if i did spend it studying bio at an exhaustingly long tutor session.
i like my new friends ive made over this year of uni, theyre all awesome and im going to miss seeing all of them on a weekly basis :( they are all actually the only reason that im not excited for summer...dont get me wrong though, im extremeelyyyyy stoked for summer

i am so happy classes are done finallyyyyyy
two more weeks of exam hell then nicaragua and summer here i come :)

"I feel like you're an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea"

It will all be okay.

Double double toil and trouble

I've ran into an overly large amount of harry potter references while on the internet today.
So I've decided to take it as a sign and add some HP references into my English Presentation, seems like pretty rational thinking to me.
Here's to hoping I've got some HP fans in my class and my prof isn't totally against the series..

ps. Happy birthday Fred and George :)